Unmentionable Inner Thoughts
by Arishandera
Summary: The series in each character's unique POV. There's more than to what meets the eye: Hidden desires, fears, secrets, basically everything that they have no intention of revealing to the public. Yaoi hints with various pairings. High Priest Seto's turn.
1. Atemu: Ancient Egypt

**I'm still alive, guys (incase you're wondering). This isn't going to be a 'serious' fic. I'll basically update this whenever I feel like it, or as a sort of 'warm-up' before I start writing for my main stories.**

**In any case. Just started typing this to relieve some stress from school. The main idea is inspired by Cassandra Claire's VSD (Very Secret Diaries) which is a LOTR humor fic (which has been discontinued for quite some time now). **

**Warnings: Swearing, and some yaoi hints (nothing _too _graphic) in the later chapters.**

**Will probably revise this a bit tom to fic typos and such.**

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Chapter 1:

Atemu: Ancient Egypt

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1st Day as Pharaoh

Such an exciting day. Been waiting all my life to become pharaoh. Now can receive much-deserved praise and worship for sizzling hot personage. Will hopefully be better than father, who looks nothing like self, and therefore, isn't sizzling hot at all.

Am planning to have slaves build 100 feet monument of self as very first royal order. And probably have Seto lick my shoes whilst I bless my subjects with my godly presence. Will never get tired of rubbing into that petty High Priest's face that I'm the pharaoh, and he's not. Ha-ha.

If all goes well, will probably be recognized as hottest pharaoh in all of history. Is fortunate that high priests and priestess are no match for striking looks (but note to self; Keep an eye on Seto).

_Later…_

Damn it! Not even one day to enjoy being fucking pharaoh and already have white-haired thief as mortal enemy. Don't really give a damn whether his village's been sacrificed for making pretty Millennium Items; ugly village folks look better as golden jewelry than their original ugly selves anyway.

Though am wondering why white-haired thief not that bad-looking.

Note: Ask thief how he works out. Use torture if necessary. Must make sure self is prettiest(and most built) in the kingdom after all.

Day 2

Fucking thief fucking ruined my fucking pharaoh dream.

Now have to run around to try and take back damn Millennium items fucking high priests have been stupid enough to get stolen.

Am considering killing them after all this ruckus with white-haired thief over. I most certainly need more attractive people in council. Almost all priests have weird hair (or is bald), and old.

Definitely inferior to my standards.

Day 3

Learned thief's name to be Bakura. Am glad to know this since saying 'Fuck Bakura' is more specific and pointy than 'Fucking thief'.

Am sad to say that will not be writing in diary for a while, unless I will find a way to write through blasted Millennium Puzzle which self has to be trapped in for the next few millennia or so.

Seto seems awfully glad and have been strangely nice. Bastard must be plotting to be pharaoh all this time. Will try to remember to make his future life hell despite having to sacrifice memories for ritual thingie.

Will probably carve it on hand as so will not forget.

Will also remember to punish thief for ruining pharaonic dreams of self-grandeur (as well as learning other's secret for having gorgeous abs that is).

Fuck Seto and Bakura. May they fucking rot in hell. Bastards.

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**I know it's short. But this is only written for enjoyment, so if this is how much I was able to write, then that's that. And yes, more chapters will be coming, but they'll be irregular updates (unlike JP), maybe I'll update this in a day, a week or next month, who knows?.**

**Hope you like.**

**The next update will be _Just Pretend_, most likely the day after tomorrow.**


	2. Thief Bakura: AE

**Don't really know if this is ay good. Typed it just before sleeping. Zzzzzz.**

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Chapter 2:

Thief Bakura: Ancient Egypt

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Day 1: Life of a Thief

On the road to the pharaoh's city. Traveled a very long way just to see if pharaoh dude actually as hot as the newspapers say. Have made this quest top-priority.

_Cough…_

Day 2

Finally arrived!

Went directly to pharaoh's palace and straight to throne room (was sure pharaoh was kissing own reflection on hand-mirror before got distracted by guards. Narcissistic bastard).

Honestly though, pharaoh doesn't look _that _bad.

Hair could definitely improve though…am debating if I should recommend personal hair stylist or not.

Felt guards groping self for a while there, was almost about to send pretty pet demon-slash-snake to bite their asses off for touching mine when pharaoh spoke, "Stand your ground. Who are you?"

Was a bit lost as what to say and so made bullshit about wanting revenge for village and family being sacrificed for golden items (am very good at lying) Took advantage of shocked silence as opportunity to study Pharaoh Atemu's looks. Is all-in-all decent but am a bit put off by messy multi-colored hair. Am currently wondering where he inherited them (toying with the possibility that he has three parents at the moment, one for each hair-color)

_Later…_

Gah! Been running in circles around dessert for hours. Have made the mistake of commenting on pharaoh's looks. Atemu _very _sensitive about own appearance and went fucking ballistic. Am now sporting nasty scar at cheek (though it looks cool).

Am now holding pretty shiny-gold objects which self has nabbed from castle vendors while escaping. Maybe they would fetch a nice price so that self can use money to travel somewhere far away from crazy pharaoh.

Day 3

Fuck.

Just realized have mistaken high priests for street vendors, and have unwittingly stolen two Items. Tried to explain to pharaoh, Atemu, but arrogant prick only kept ranting about how he has been "Triumphant on capturing the elusive King of Thieves" and then proceeded to insult self's and family's looks.

Have decided to hate pharaoh with passion starting now.

Am rather glad self has to spend eternity in Ring, as well as pharaoh with Puzzle. Can now pester Atemu for eternity until he admits self is better-looking than he is.

Am hoping to possess well-built body of host in the future as so can beat fucking pharaoh into mashed potatoes. Also made sure to give him the finger just before we were sucked into Items just to spite him.

Will now spend time in Ring to think of way to destroy pharaoh's hotness and make self's grow.

Hopefully, will be able to think of a plausible plan during three-millennia wait.

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**Bleh. Hope you found that enjoyable…somehow...**

**I'll read this again for typos tom. like always (is very sleepy)**


	3. High Priest Seto: AE

**I'm having really fun writing this so here's another chapter.**

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Chapter 3:

High Priest Seto

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Priest Seto: Priestly Duties

Day 1

Semi-sad and happy day. Good news; Pharaoh Akunumkanon died (Yes! One more step forward to lifetime goal of ascending to the throne). Bad news; bratty cousin, Atemu (who's heir to the throne, unfortunately), has taken recently deceased pharaoh's place.

Is always frustrating how the royal family just refuses to die out.

Nonetheless, I'll try my best to serve cousin until able to carry out master plan-to-become-pharaoh. If successful, will probably be pharaoh later this day.

_Later…_

Still not pharaoh.

Atemu has been keeping self busy. Have been subjected to very degrading tasks. Is still washing mouth because of having to lick pharaoh's damned shoes whilst he pranced around the kingdom (is suspecting that Atemu deliberately stepped on camel shit especially for me. Bastard).

I still cannot believe that high priests, such as self, have to follow idiotic pharaoh's orders that have nothing to do whatsoever with priestly duties.

Will swear to take revenge if forced to waste another hour praising Atemu from his 'vibrant-colored hair' to his 'deep alluring red-violet eyes' by puking all over his so-called 'attractive features'.

White-haired thief came today and ranted on about revenge and stuff. I'm actually a bit glad thief appeared, since Atemu would be kept busy and self will _finally _have some free time to do…stuff.

Day 2

Ah…

Enjoyed free time very much. Atemu been busy galloping around the desert, trying to catch white-haired thief all day, and I've taken advantage of this by spending whole day in throne room, admiring pretty golden throne which will one day be _mine_.

Mwahahaha.

Am really looking forward to becoming pharaoh. Won't have to sneak out at night to sit on pharaoh's throne anymore whilst pretending to have servants to order around with Atemu on his knees in front of me, licking…myshoes.

_Ahem…_

Will probably make him eat shit. Sounds like suitable revenge. Let's see how he handles it when you keep tasting camel crap in your mouth for a full fucking day. He will have to learn not everyone is crazy about him like Mahado (am pretty sure fellow priest has secret crush on cousin. Caught him rummaging through Atemu's drawers just the other day), who would gladly kiss the dirt he walks on, claiming that 'everything that the pharaoh touches is sacred' and should be worshipped. Will castrate myself with the Millennium Rod before even dignifying this philosophy.

On second thought, will probably stab self instead. Wouldn't want spiritual body to be...'lacking' in the afterlife after all.

Day 3

The day has come! Atemu is to be sealed in Millennium Puzzle for eternity (hopefully), and self is next in line for position as pharaoh!

Had to force self not to act _too _happy around Atemu which was very difficult since picture of pretty pharaoh chair always popping into mind. Am hoping ritual would just go faster, since after that, will have opportunity to design very own pharaoh outfit complete with crown, cape, earrings, etc.

High Priest costume not that bad, but I personally feel tall hat only damages sleek sexy hair. Self probably the only one here who has attractive hair cut, and so must flaunt this fact without shame.

Bakura (the thief's name, as it seems) will forever be in my good graces, as it is his fault that Atemu must be locked inside inanimate object (bonus points for insulting now soon-to-be dead pharaoh). Will try to remember to free him of Millennium Ring sometime later, but am not keeping any promises. Pharaoh life _is _very busy, and might be hard to squeeze him into loaded schedule.

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**Seto's so fun to write :D**

**I'm thinking whether to have the other AE characters have their own chapter after this (I'm not sure since they're pretty much minor characters and all), or to finally start with Yugi during Duelist Kingdom. What do you guys think? (If you even read this piece of crap I've made :D)**


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